A Moment That Made You Question Whether You Would Continue
This question is easily the one that got me started doing this challenge, and this challenge is why the blog still exists. Yes, there was a moment that made me think I was done and quitting, and it was a very recent moment.
It started when Disney bought Star Wars. I didn’t really care about that because George Lucas has been doing his best to ruin his masterpiece for years, and Disney and Star Wars have been in bed practically since the beginning. I don’t understand why because Star Wars is most certainly not for kids, but there you are. And even though I have loathed Disney since I was probably about nine, it really was no skin off my nose whatever moron owned the franchise. I figured it would mean lots of new crappy Star Wars themed cartoons, but, well, we’ve faced that before.
When I heard the announcement that the new Disney Star Wars film was going to be Episode 7, however, I closed down my browser and walked away. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t handle it. I know that back in the 70s, as the ambitious bearded fellow worked on his first low-budget film no one thought was going to go anywhere, he was talking four trilogies; Mark Hamill reported that in 1976, George was predicting “Episode XII” with Luke playing the aged mentor role. But for my entire life — I had a quotation from 1984 and can’t find it now — but from the year before I was born all the way up to the 2010s, Lucas was not only saying he didn’t want to make any new Star Wars movies (I have a clipping from a 1999 USA Today in which Lucas says he’s too old to make another Star Wars trilogy even if he wanted to), but that he “only ever planned for six films.” While this is not true, especially going back into interviews from 1977-1983, it was a statement he stuck by for my entire life, and one I depended on heavily. Everyone knew he was going to do I-III. And I knew with as much certainty that six would be it. It was bad enough when he flouted the capstone book he asked Timothy Zahn to make and started letting people publish “The New Jedi Order.” I say “It has to end somewhere, George” so often, it should be a t-shirt.
Yet he’s not ending it. When I heard the words “Disney-backed seventh Star Wars film,” my stomach turned. I couldn’t go anywhere on the internet or do anything I usually do without being confronted with it, and it made me sick to my stomach. Not only was it a complete betrayal of my sensibilities — things must end, and it’s good they end! — it’s turned Star Wars into a travesty like Land Before Time or Friday the 13th, mediocre films with endless money-grubbing sequels. Furthermore, the entire original cast coming back makes me feel fairly ill. Do you know what we loved about Han Solo? The fact that he wasn’t 75. I don’t want to see an aged Harrison Ford, who doesn’t even like Star Wars, crawling around mutilating his old role. Didn’t they learn anything from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? People are going to loathe seeing an elderly Han Solo.
Speaking of people, this is where I got really sick of the whole thing: inexplicably, everyone on the entire internet is thrilled about this development. Now, here’s something you know about me: I love Episodes I-III. I love them, I love to watch them, to curl up and cuddle with them, to think about them and look at pictures from them and buy products dedicated to them. However, in my experience, a majority of fans don’t like them, and of those, many outright hate them. They love to complain, whine, hiss, claw, and curse about them. They love to burn Jar Jar in effigy and scream outrage at new CGI and bad dialogue. They also loathed Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
To me, this makes it obvious: if a person hates new Star Wars films and late Indiana Jones sequels, they are obviously going to hate new Star Wars movies, especially ones backed by a corporation as cash-hungry and research-ignorant as Disney. And yet I see no evidence that people realize this. I realized that all Star Wars fans want to do is anticipate a new movie, and the fact that they are going to hate the new movie has nothing to do with it. People who saw A New Hope in theaters have, generally hated every new Star Wars movie since (Ben Burtt reports that Empire Strikes Back was unpopular with the fans when it came out) and yet they still have the cognitive dissonance to froth at the mouth for a new one, which they are only going to turn around and hate.
I heard some truly chilling things. For example, someone shocked me to the core by saying that Episodes 7-9 would redeem the mistakes of the prequel trilogy, and if they failed, “we’ll just have to wait for Episodes 10-12 to fix it.” My jaw hit the floor and then I had to pick it up quickly to keep from vomiting on my keyboard. Yes, I was upset enough to feel pretty physically ill. And I was done with Star Wars. The fans made no sense anymore. I was embarrassed to be seen with my new purse because people would keep asking me if I’d heard about the “new movies,” and the idea of new movies made me feel so sick I had trouble being polite. I couldn’t stand thinking about it. For the last year, I’ve felt as though everything I love has been brutally taken away, and with as much as Star Wars means to me, I just couldn’t handle it. I decided to quit: to pack it all up, pack it all in, and retire this blog.
Then I couldn’t figure out how to archive the blog without deleting all the content and at the same time found this challenge. And in doing the challenge, I have re-remembered how much I love Star Wars, and how much it means to me — and I have remembered and realized that no matter what idiotic thing George does with it — pink lightsabers and drunken frat boy krayt dragon yells in the Blu-Ray, endless crappy sequels — no one can take away from me what I have from Star Wars, because my Star Wars is my own. And so here I am.
By the way, no: nothing will ever induce me to see the new films, just like nothing has ever induced me to read NJO. “It’s got to end somewhere, George” — Canon’s canon. For the first time, I see the point of this shirt, and want one so badly —